Comments on: masculinity

By: cdm

cdm — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:55:30 +0000

Perhaps I ought to have defined “extreme skepticism”. I am attracted to and respect men and women who are skeptical, particularly of powerful, protected, and/or trendy ideas. I’ve also encountered people (more men than women) who appear skeptical to the point of refusing to value or open themselves to anything they cannot measure or explain, or who substitute scoffing and condescension for skepticism. This is what I would call “extreme skepticism,” and I personally find it as limiting as emotional illiteracy. I listed extreme skepticism here because I wanted to evoke a kind of traditional masculinity that was still open to emotion, intuition, and aspects of reality that lie beyond the purely rational. I’m not sure how men are traditionally seen vis-a-vis skepticism, but I was addressing the stereotype of the man who lives exclusively through the rational. I find well-wielded rationality and skepticism a powerful turn-on, but beyond a certain point it begins to feel shallow to me. I would also say, incidentally, that my experience of religion and theology involves a robust measure of skepticism, intellectual rigor, and free inquiry. This, too, is something I’m drawn to in the masculine. As for what a “real” man can or cannot be, I don’t think I was speaking of “real” men (whoever they might be) but merely an essential type of masculinity that attracts me.

By: cdm

cdm — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:27:59 +0000

I respect men with well-groomed beards, even if it wouldn’t be my first choice as a romantic partner. And for men of your very advanced age, beards are a more acceptable accessory. *ducks*

By: PaulAtNorthGare

PaulAtNorthGare — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 19:33:09 +0000

I have a question, which I hope will come across in the right way. Your attraction to the old-fashioned masculine look and feel is fair enough, and mostly that’s what you describe. But this strikes me as odd:

…any more than it involves emotional illiteracy, sports obsession, extreme skepticism…

I get the point that “emotional illiteracy” and “sports obsession” are seen as stereotypically male, but not a good thing, so that fits. But “extreme skepticism”? I also can see that that might be an issue for you in a man, since it wouldn’t fit with your religious beliefs, but it seems to me that’s a complete separate preference thrown into the mix here. Are men traditionally seen as extreme skeptics? Or is that just something you also happen not to like? Are you saying that there are limits on how skeptical a “real” man can be? If so, why?

By: Master Retep

Master Retep — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 19:25:04 +0000

Oh dear, I have a confession.

I have a beard, its quite a small, silvery grey, academic looking one (I’m told), but its a beard nonetheless and its growing on my face., What to do ?…..